My not-so-funny Valentine's story

I feel that I've learned a fair number of things about parenting since I became one a few years ago. I mean, if I were to say, major in parenting - I think I'd definitely be beyond the basic courses at this point and into the advanced course work. (At least in the early childhood major.) And like all good courses of study, it's not all easy going. Every now and then an exercise comes up that really stumps you. Which is exactly what happened to me this week:

So, as everyone knows - tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Day of Cupid, true love, bows and arrows, blah, blah, blah. When we got Ian's class newsletter at the beginning of this month there was a big reminder on the front (and only) page: We'll be having our class Valentine's party on Friday, February 13 this year! See attached list for names of everyone in the class! My very first thought was, Huh? And then my very second thought was, Oh, right, Valentines! I think I vaguely recall some required exchange of little cards with silly sayings on them. Of course, I also recall things being a little less politically correct back in my day and being crushed to death when Fred didn't give me a Valentine, or that girl who I wanted to be best friends with so badly...of course not bad enough that I remember her name right now. And my third thought was, Oh goody - another item to add to the to-do list!

Anyway, in my attempt to be an involved parent I signed up the next day to bring apples in for the big bash. And, I figured I'd just stop in at Freddie's (notice how they seem to get a lot of publicity on this blog?) and pick up a box of those cute little Snoopy Valentines I remember from 30ish years ago, fill them out and call it a day. Fast forward to Monday of this week. I was picking up Ian when one of his teachers said, "Oh, so just to let you know - we decided to change the party from this Friday to this Thursday because the librarian is coming into the class on Friday." Which, for me, now meant that I needed to have the Valentines ready by end of day on Wednesday since Ian doesn't goes to school on Thursdays. This also meant that he wouldn't able to attend the Valentine's party, which was a bit of a bummer. However, for some reason, the Wednesday Valentine deadline didn't actually occur to me until Tuesday evening. Still, I thought, Oh, no big deal. I'll run out and get them after I drop Ian off tomorrow morning, fill them out and give them to the teacher when I pick him up Wednesday afternoon to distribute on Ian's behalf Thursday morning.

Enter Wednesday morning. By this point, I already knew that our Freddie's did not in fact have any Valentines (at least that I saw) - so I headed straight for Target after dropping off Ian. Now, let me say here that I must admit that one of the huge benefits of being unemployed...or excuse me, not working outside of the home...is being able to go to stores like Target on weekdays. Really, it spoils you from ever wanting to have to out shopping on a weekend again (though don't get me wrong - I do it anyway). So, I walk in and immediately soak up the calmness that is Target on a Wednesday morning. Ahhhh! Of course I don't go straight to where I need to go because, duh, I'm in Target. So I meander a bit, hitting the toy section to scope out some potential new mini gadgets to surprise Ian with on our plane trip to Texas next week. Of course, not that this "occupy them with new toys" strategy I keep reading about has ever worked for us before, but it doesn't mean we stop trying. Anyway, it's there in the toy section that I'm confronted with Super Annoying Mom #1. (Which, by the way, is a trade off of shopping on weekdays.) You know, the one roaming the aisles with the cell phone glued to her ear, not paying attention to her cart or where she is, but instead yapping nonstop about how little Johnny didn't sleep a wink last night. Meanwhile, she has this cute little girl trailing along behind her who she's paying zero attention to, except to turn every once in a while and yell, "Come on, Madison!" And she's just like Visa: Everywhere I want to be.

Next, I venture over the Valentine's section. Which is where I discover that the store wasn't as quiet as I thought it was. Because every person from at least half the cars in the parking lot was pretty much within this two aisle radius. Which I guess shouldn't have been all that surprising given the proximity to the official Hallmark holiday of the year. But I couldn't take it so I retreated for the main greeting card area which - big surprise - is where the other half of the people were. Ugh. Still, I had no choice so I suffered through before moving back to the Vday section where I encountered Super Annoying Moms #2, 3, 4 and 5. Maybe more. I lost count. There was all sorts of stuff going on in these aisles...little bins of picture frames, pencils, you name it - they had it. But what they didn't appear to have was a box of Valentines. Finally, I located them in a relatively small area. They looked a little different than I remembered. And there was no Snoopy or anything relatively cute or neutral. The choices were Hannah Montana, SpongeBob, Batman, Cinderella and a couple of other options I can't recall now. But let's just say they weren't good. And they definitely weren't like I remembered. I was confused. I kept thinking...there must be something I'm missing here! But not really. I mean, there was one box of "Make your own cards!" that involved a bunch of foam, some pens, some beads...I didn't really understand it so I put it back. Now I was getting a bit frustrated. This was supposed to be a quick outing and I had other things I wanted to get done that day while Ian was in school. You know, things that might actually lead to a paycheck at some point. But never fear! I had another idea! I'd just go down the way to my new favorite store Michael's and they would have exactly what I needed. Michael's never disappoints (at least they didn't when I re-discovered them over Christmas)!

So, I walked in the front door of Michael's fully expecting to be overcome with heart paraphernalia. Instead, I was overcome by plastic flowers (spring is coming, after all). I wandered around for a bit before coming across one measly display area of red stuff. It was right next to the measly display of green stuff for St. Patty's day. And oh yeah, they definitely had some Valentines...but it was the exact same stuff they had at Target. Apparently Miley Cyrus is making a killing off Valentine royalties this year. Plus a couple more "do it yourself" kits laying around that made no sense to me. It was at this point that I started aimlessly wandering around Michael's getting panicked. I had approximately five hours to deliver some Valentines to Ian's class and I was totally stumped! I knew I only had one choice: I needed to find my inner Martha. But I didn't even know what a Valentine was supposed to look like! How big are they? What do I write? Do I need envelopes? Luckily this saleswoman must have noticed me looking frazzled because she offered to help me and I was more than happy to oblige. And even better, she had young children. So, after a crash course in Kid Valentines 101 and a few ideas, I set about collecting my own materials. That's right - I was just going to make my own, darn it!

Approximately 2.5ish hours after I had dropped off Ian, I finally arrived back home armed with Valentine-making materials. By the time Jeff got home that afternoon, I was knee-deep in colored card stock, scalloped scissors, foam heart stickers, and gold and silver pens. Along with the class name list, of course. And now all I kept thinking was, Who are you and what did you do with Melinda? But seriously, talk about how I didn't intend on spending my day! And of course in the middle of all this I realized that it was only right that Ian have the opportunity to be involved in this little art activity. I mean, why should I have all the fun? So, I got a good start on everything else and left the stickers for him to place on the front when he got home that night. When I picked him up, I told his teacher that we'd have to drop off Ian's Valentines in the morning at which point she said, "Well, why don't you just bring him and leave him for a couple of hours?" Really?? Well, since you offered... (Oh, and by the way, it's not like we haven't already paid for about a million days over the past couple of months where he didn't actually go to school - including another day this upcoming Monday for the President's Day holiday. So I didn't mind taking her up on her offer for him to be there for a couple of hours on one of his "off days". Plus, I knew he'd really enjoy being at the party.)

On Wednesday night, Ian - with some help from Mom and Dad - had a great time putting the finishing touches on the Valentines for his school friends. We also cut up and put a small sheet of stickers as a little gift inside each Valentine. In the end, we had a lot of leftover stickers, which made Ian very happy. He was in heaven spending the rest of the evening - and Thursday - putting heart stickers all over new "cards" he made. On Thursday morning, he went to his Valentine party and came home with a whole bag of Valentines, most of them Hannah Montana, Cinderella, Batman... (um, can you say overachiever?) He also had some other special treats and a big smile on his face. So I think it's safe to say that his first class Valentine experience was a success. And of course I just can't wait until next year! Or even the next holiday, really.

Of course it also hit me at some point in this whole process that we needed to get Ian a little something for Valentine's Day. So, in honor of the fact that he does seem to be taking to chocolate these days, I got him some chocolate hearts from See's, a card and a little teddy bear (from Freddie's of course), which will actually be the first teddy bear he owns. As for Jeff and I, we are bucking our trend of staying in and making a nice meal at home and actually going out to dinner this year to a place we haven't been before called Lucy's Table. We figured what the heck, especially since it's on a Saturday this year and these days we'll pretty much look for any excuse to get out for a nice meal. And, if things go well, we may even get really wild and go out dancing afterwards!

So, Happy Hallmark Holiday...er, I mean, Valentine's Day to all!

Until I write again.