Appreciating today

I started off writing today's post on something we'll just say is related to holidays and retail. But that post has been preempted by other, larger events. Actually, it appears we have two other, larger events happening in our family right now - but for now I'm only going to talk about one of them.

So Ian's been physically ready for potty training for at least six months now. By last July, he was showing most of the major signs. I was so encouraged/scared to death of his readiness that one day I decided it was time to take the "all or nothing" approach to potty training. This is where you just wake up one morning and announce that Target has stopped carrying diapers altogether therefore you must go in the potty now and wear underwear. Now, let me just say here that this is actually a recognized and accepted approach to potty training that is recommended for parents who have the time to devote 24/7 to training their child and who also have no need to leave the house for a period of three or four days straight. And since I basically fell into that category, I decided to go for it.

Well, by the end Day One I came to the conclusion that this tactic may have been one the dumbest ideas I've ever had. This kid clearly seemed to have no concept of the whole "tell me when you have to go and I'll get you there" thing. The only person that was being trained that day was me in learning the best techniques for cleaning rugs and floors. No thank you, I actually like my things just the way they are. So of course I did what I always do and posted an SOS message on DCUM for advice on how to proceed. Everyone immediately agreed that I needed to abort Operation Potty Training and try again later which frankly, I was more than happy to do.

If we were at Square One in July, by September we were back to Square Zero. Meaning, he showed very little interest in training. Our hope was that starting preschool in September and seeing other kids sit on the potty would help things progress, but by October we still had nothing. Around that time we did force some progress by announcing one day that we had a new rule in the house that Ian would sit on the potty every morning when he woke up and every night before bath time. And being the general rule follower that he is, he was pretty much okay with this. But it hasn't been without its challenges. Like, at first he figured out that the longer he sat on the potty the more books I would read to him. Well, I'm no dummy and it only took me about two weeks to catch on to that little trick. So, we had to make another new rule that Ian could look through books but was not going to be read to while on the potty. Also, sometimes his version of sitting on the potty was to be down and up within about a millisecond. So Jeff told him he needed to at least count to ten before he could get up.

One of the things I've heard about potty training is that "incentives" work well for many kids. Of course we all know that this is parent speak for bribery. The key is discovering what makes your kid tick and then using that against them (I mean, to "incentivize" them to use the potty). For many kids, candy does the trick (I've heard M&M's or jelly beans are popular) but for Ian it's all about the stickers. He really loves stickers. Well, one day I was at Freddie's and came upon this pack of Sesame Street stickers that I knew he'd love. Originally I was going to buy them for him just because I'm a nice mom like that. But then I remembered that word - incentivize! Once at home with stickers in hand I announced another new rule: that Ian would get a sticker every time he went in the potty (and that he would get to flush because he loves to flush).

While there was much excitement over this new rule - there wasn't lot of action. His teachers told us that he's still on the earlier end of training for boys and not to worry yet. So, we've continued to be patient and generally encouraging. (Except for that one time that I told him he needed to learn how to use the potty because I was sick of changing his diapers. Hey, I was having a bad parent day - it happens to the best of us.) We periodically remind him that if he ever feels like he needs to go, he can just tell one of us and we'll help get him to the potty. This is generally met with a look that says, "Yeah, whatever Mommy, I'm all over it."

But then enter today (!!). We had been home from preschool for a bit and he said, "Mommy, I need to go the potty." Now again, being the nice mother that I am, my first thought was, "he's lying". (He has done this before just to try and get a sticker by sitting on the potty.) But of course I had to give him the benefit of the doubt so in we went to start the process of taking off the slippers, taking off the pants, taking off the diaper... Once he got up there he had a very focused look on his face. Immediately I knew this was not our typical potty-sitting exercise. And a minute later, he was going!!!! I was so excited you would have thought I had just been given that million dollars I've been "needing". And then Ian was all excited and there were many hugs and kisses. Then he flushed, we washed hands, called Daddy at work to report the good news and of course picked out a sticker. A head shot of Elmo was today's choice. Now, I know enough to recognize that it may be another year before this happens again, but sometimes you have to just appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow.

Until I write again.