Going to new Depths

Our shopping trips to our local New Seasons are always somewhat dangerous for me because in addition to their great selection of edible products, they happen to have a pretty great department of all natural, organic bath and beauty products. Undoubtedly, I often find myself venturing over to these aisles for a quick scan of the latest and greatest products available for purchase.

A couple of weeks ago we were in the store hightailing it to the produce department (after all, you know how committed I am to my fruits and veggies), walking right past the beauty products when a new product caught my eye. It was prominently displayed at the end of one of the

aisles. (Those product placement people are soooo smart!) It was in pretty blue packaging - and let's face it, I'm a sucker for pretty packaging - and the name was Depth. There was a lotion, a body wash, hand soap, shave cream, shampoo and conditioner. The lotion had a tester so, among the four they had available, I selected a scent called "Ocean Blossom." Suffice it to say that it was love at first smell. I spent the rest of the time in the store sniffing my hands to take it all in. Hopefully that didn't look too strange.

That night I did some quick research online on this new Depth product and liked what I saw. It's a fairly young company that was started by a husband and wife who are/were marine biologists. As stated on their Web site, one of the reasons they started the company was to bring the "beauty, abundance and therapeutic benefits of marine botanicals to consumers..." I like that. The product line is organic and natural. And did I mention it smells heavenly and has lovely environmentally friendly packaging? Of course, the neatest part is that a percentage of the sale of every product goes toward a nonprofit camp in Monterey Bay that provides marine experiences to underprivileged children and instills in them a love and respect for the sea and marine life. Oh, and it also smells great. And, the packaging is lovely. (Did I already say that?)

While Ian and I were at New Seasons on Monday, I decided it was time to stop draining their lotion testers and took the plunge (pun intended) with my first Depth purchase - the daily shampoo. I've only used it a couple of times but so far, it's great. So, I guess it's safe to say they've got a new fan. And they aren't even paying me to write this! (Hey, isn't that how this blogging thing is really supposed to work??)

Until I write again.

Didn't I say I wasn't going to do that?

Right from the beginning of this second pregnancy I knew that one of the things I wouldn't have spend any time worrying about this time around was room preparation. Well, okay, let me back up and say that I did know we would need to decide which room this little one would occupy but once that decision was made - it would be smooth sailing. I mean, I already had all the stuff. The bedding, the furniture, the wall hangings, etc. What a relief, right? Yeah, right.

Of course, first let's not underestimate the magnitude of the actual room decision. And honestly, we've known this might become a bit of an issue at some point from oh, say, the day we put an offer in on this house. Sadly, what was not at issue was the fact that Jeff would be kicked out of his office. Yeah sure, he happens to use that room to help generate our family income when he's not on client site - but still - something needed to give and his office was it. (Unfortunately, while it seems that the most obvious solution would be for him to take over the downstairs den/office area, the design of the built-in work space in that room does not work well for people taller than about five feet. It actually would have worked better for us if they had left that room as an empty space.) So, we knew from the start that his office would likely be relocating to the basement area, making it a dual purpose second living/office area.

But the next question was whether that office would become the new baby's room or the new guest room (obviously making the current guest room the new baby's room). This is where our opinions differed. My husband, Mr. I-look-at-everything-from-a-very-logical-point-of-view, was strongly in favor of using the small room as the baby's room. His argument being: A) How much space does one little tiny baby need? (um, did he notice the size of our last one?); B) It would be all the more convenient to have the kid right next door as Ian was when he was a little tike; and C) While we do love every one of our guests dearly, the current guest bedroom location just seems a little more natural than the smaller room right next door to ours. Meanwhile, my argument was that while I totally got all of his arguments, I just happen to like the other bedroom more. It's larger, it's brighter, it has a better view out the windows and well, it just makes me happier when I'm in there. So, we'd broach the subject every now and then. He'd voice his opinion. I'd do the whole, "I hear you" thing and then make my perhaps more subjective but I felt, equally compelling, arguments and then we'd drop it for a while.

Until one day not all that long ago, I was on Facebook and saw a post from Sharon, who (along with her husband) bought our old house in Arlington and also happens to be pregnant with their second child. She had a status update about being so pleased that Restoration Hardware Baby & Child had so much great gender-neutral stuff for decorating their new baby's room. This immediately spelled trouble. Restoration Hardware? Baby & Child? Hmmm...I knew they had dipped their toes into the baby market but how far? I figured I'd go check out the site. You know, just for fun. And off I went. Within a few clicks I was perusing multiple pages of what had clearly become an entirely new business line for RH. And first of all, let me ask, how did I miss this when I was going through all these decor issues with Ian's room? Annoying. And second of all, it was like one-stop baby room shopping! Great colors that weren't too cutesy (and Sharon was right - some very nice gender-neutral selections) with coordinating bedding, lighting, wall colors (all their stuff matches their paint colors perfectly - imagine that!) and let's not forget a plethora of coordinating overpriced accessories that include wall hangings, storage baskets, blankets, stuffed animals, etc.

By my fifth or so visit to the site, there was a plan forming in that planner head of mine. It went something like this: "Well, you know, maybe - just maybe - I wouldn't feel as bad about that little room if we spruce it up a bit. You know, paint the walls a lighter color to brighten it up and make it seem larger, change out the bedding..." And before I knew it, the UPS man was dropping this off at our door:

For anyone wondering what the heck it is - it's a crib bumper. A cuddle plush crib bumper in chocolate with silver sage piping, to be specific. Which, I know are somewhat controversial these days, but we did use one with Ian until he was five(ish) months - which is probably how this one will go as well and why I purchased it for 50% off. So, suffice it to say that we have a plan now, which is that our new bundle of joy will be occupying Jeff's former office next to our room for at least the first year or two. The guest room will remain as-is for now (minus some closet reorg). We'll be using all of Ian's old baby furniture (I didn't go that out of my mind!) with the new bumper, a new sheet and crib skirt (both identified but I'm waiting to see if they also go on sale at some point since we have time) - along with likely a new table lamp and shade, and perhaps some new storage baskets that match the new colors. The wall color will be RH's Silver Sage - though there's a decent chance we'll use the Benjamin Moore match called Gray Wisp simply because we like BM paints and know we can get a good quality low VOC option there.

And last, but not least, the one remaining issue with the smaller room was/is the closet. It's a fairly small closet that has one hanging bar that is up way too high for it to be functional for me on a daily basis. So, the solution there is that we'll be taking out the existing bar and shelf, patching/prepping the closet and installing a new Elfa closet system from the Container Store that will have a combination of hanging space, drawers and shelving. And with that, I can now report that our next child will not be homeless. Item one checked off the list, only about fifty three more to go and we'll be ready. Oh, and if anyone needs a like-new cute lamb baby bedding set from Pottery Barn Kids - complete with matching rug - it'll be on Portland's Craigslist soon.

Until I write again.

Take me out to the ball game

This afternoon we took Ian to his first ever live sporting event: A Portland Beavers baseball game. The Beavers are a Minor League farm team for the San Diego Padres. Unfortunately, they may not be in Portland much longer because their home field - PGE Park - is in jeopardy to due the arrival of a Major League Soccer team in Portland soon. (Apparently Portland is more of a soccer town than baseball town, so the Beavers may be gone by 2011.) Which made it even more imperative that we make it to one of their games! Plus, Sundays are kids' day at the park where kids eat free before the game and they have a game area set up for them, in addition to other activities.

PGE Park is on the edge of downtown so rather spend a couple of hours in search of street parking, we opted to take the "electric train," as Ian calls it. Of course this mode of transportation also earned us triple bonus points for the day given that the ride there and back was half the fun. A mere $15 got us all in the gate for general admission seating which allowed us to pick any seat we wanted in the upper half of the stadium. Sadly, the crowds were not huge (perhaps more evidence why the Beavers may not be around much longer) but it still had all the makings of a good day at the ballpark: a warm day, overpriced food, (relatively) good music and vendors circling with every type of junk food you can imagine.

The actual game portion of the outing kept Ian's attention for approximately three innings before he became more interested in walking around, climbing the stairs and generally not sitting still for more than two seconds. That said, he is a very loyal and enthusiastic clapper and always took a moment out from other activities to participate in cheering on the home team. By the fourth inning we headed over the kids' area where Ian participated in a little batting practice himself before he announced that he was ready to hop the train back home. We were really hoping he'd make it to the seventh inning so he could hear Take Me Out to the Ball Game given he recently learned that song at school and has been quick to add it to his concert repertoire at home. However, it clearly wasn't meant to be for today, so off we went to catch the

train for the few stops to our home station.

As for me, that was my first Minor League game ever, I believe. I did have a moment where I wished that we had the opportunity to take him to a Washington Nationals game in their new stadium (the stadium was still being built when we moved) and of course taken the Metro to get there. Boy, he would have just been beside himself with the whole Metro system! But, as Jeff rightly pointed out, he could care less about the difference between the minors and majors or what stadium he's in....he was just happy to be part of a real sporting event. (Though, we do have hopes of taking him up for Seattle for a Mariners' game at some point.) Maybe next time we'll even make it to the seventh inning stretch.

Until I write again.

How our son spent his "rest time" yesterday

Ian was never the type of baby who was "into everything," as they say. Once he became mobile, I must say that we got by with minimal baby proofing because he was just the type of kid who, as soon as we said "No!" would turn and go the other direction. No issues. No questions asked. (Maybe because he couldn't talk at the time?) Plus, we also just made it policy to not divert our eyes from him for too long. So, suffice it to say that aside from some sensible safety basics, that hiding everything, putting locks on cabinets, toilet seats, etc. was not as much of a concern for us as it might be for some others who have little ones of a more exploratory nature, shall we say. Bottom line: It was just never a problem with him. Until yesterday.

After a somewhat crazy, but enjoyable morning at OMSI - we came home and did the usual routine of lunch, clean up and a little Sesame Street before it was time to head upstairs for "rest time." As I've mentioned several times before here, rest time rarely involves actual sleeping these days. But still, the idea is to spend some quiet time "resting" in his room. The reality is that since moving into a bed and becoming potty trained, rest time for Ian is more about seeing how many times one can go to the bathroom in an hour. And believe me, if there was a category for this in the Guinness Book of World Records, he would hold the record for sure.

However, yesterday started out a little different. Things were quiet. Very quiet, actually. So much so that for a good while I was almost convinced that maybe this was one of those rare days where he actually fell asleep. So, I went about my business downstairs and after an hour and a half, went up to retrieve him for a snack and some play time before we headed out to his last swim lesson of the season. When I reached the top of the stairs I noticed that the bathroom door was closed and the light was on. Okay, so this was probably trip #50 to the bathroom today and he had just managed to be extra quiet. As I try to do before entering, I quickly knocked and opened the door. What I found was not a pretty scene.

Ian, who was standing on his step stool at the sink with sunscreen tube in hand, turned to see me with a look of surprise and horror on his face at clearly being caught mid-act. And speaking of his face, it just so happened to be covered in pure white - along with part of his hair, shirt, the counter and the wall behind him. The top drawer was wide open and sprawled out on the counter was a cocktail, really, of open toothpaste tubes, lotions, sunscreens, Neosporin, Aquaphor, you name it. Quite shocked I said, "Ian! What are you doing??!," for which his response was to immediately scrunch up his white face and eyes and start bawling, accompanied by the now typical chant of, "I want my daddy! I want my daddy!" The sight was more than I could take. Not quite sure how to handle this appropriately, I immediately did what any parent would do when they've just found their preschooler covered head to toe in white lotions: I left the room and went into our bedroom and laughed. Quietly, of course. More than anything, I really wanted to go downstairs and get my camera to capture this moment and then of course post it to Facebook, Twitter, this blog and any other online forum I could think of - but my logical parent brain kicked into gear and I decided that pulling out the camera might not be the best way to discourage this type of activity in the future. So sadly, no photos.

Once I regrouped, I returned to the scene of the crime where Ian was still standing there just as I had left him crying for his daddy. Still somewhat shocked at what he had done and buying time for what my next move should be, I asked him, "Why do you want daddy?" "Because I don't like you!," he said. Geez, and I hadn't even done anything yet, but thanks, I'll tuck that one in my back pocket for later. Maybe it was a combination of those words, the mess that was on the counter, the wasted sunscreen (which isn't cheap, by the way) and the fact that it was clear that he now needed a bath - that finally kicked me into the "okay, now I'm upset" mode. Luckily I had recently reread our Love and Logic book so my brain did a quick scan to recall what would the authors would say to do in this particular situation. Answer (I think): We had a problem and he needed to be a participant in helping me solve it.

Me: So, it looks like you've decided to make a big mess here. How do you think we're going to get this cleaned up?

Ian: I don't know! (Followed by more "Wahhh!! I want my daddy!" Puhleease, enough already.)

Me: Well, daddy isn't here and he's not going to help you clean this up. Do you have any other ideas?

Ian: No.

Me: Well, let me give you some ideas...

I was winging it, really. (After all, isn't that what first time parenting is all about?) But the bottom line is that we agreed that he'd help me clean up what he could and then he had to choose a toy that he couldn't play with through the weekend. In addition, he would not be having his current favorite snack (graham crackers and peanut butter) that afternoon and through the weekend, as well as any tostadas (aka, cheese quesadillas, which continue to be his favorite food and I'm positive he'd eat them for every single meal if we let him). "Okay," he said. (Sniff, sniff.)

And that is how our son spent his "rest time" yesterday.

Until I write again.

The Somewhat (infrequent) Daily Quote

Mommy, I'm done talking now about the days of the week. You can focus on your driving and I'll just sit here, okay?

Followed a minute later by...

Mommy, how is your new hair color?

-Ian Burpo, Age 3, heard while driving to school this morning after I had been quizzing him for a few minutes on the days of the week. I guess he got tired of playing along. So thoughtful of him to ask about my hair though! (It was a big day yesterday on the hair front - I finally took the plunge and got it highlighted to help hide the gray that was overtaking my head at light speed.) So the answer was, "I'm quite pleased with it, thank you very much for asking."

Until I write again.

Arlington: The Rap

A friend posted this hilarious video from YouTube on Facebook. I thought it captured our old hood so perfectly that I had to post it here. And sadly, it made me feel terribly homesick. Not sure what that says about me but I could make a couple of guesses.

Until I write again.

Add this to the list of things no one told me about parenting (May milestones, part two)

In addition to moving into a real bed, we also tackled the potty training issue once and for all in May. With surprising success, I might add. After nearly a year of casually "practicing" on the potty, Ian still appeared to be taking very little initiative on his own to advance toward being trained. So, with the clock ticking on a couple of different fronts at this point, we decided that it was time to push him off the deep end, so to speak. Enter Operation Potty Training Boot Camp (OPTBC).

We selected Memorial Day weekend for OPTBC because we knew that would give us four solid days where he was not scheduled to be in school and we could stay tethered to the house. (Adios annual Memorial Day day trip to Cannon Beach.) Now, Memorial Day weekend in Portland is known for its awful weather. Cool temperatures, rain, lots of clouds...according to local sources, it's been this way for years. Except, of course, the year we decide to stay at home all weekend. The weather could not have been more gorgeous, really. But was this surprising? Of course not. And to be fair, we did have a ton of beautiful weather in May - except the first week when Chris and Karen were visiting where it just so happens we had some amazingly soggy and dreary days. But again, was this surprising? Of course not.

So, we started warning Ian about a week beforehand that come Saturday morning, he would no longer be wearing diapers. Against my better taste, but going by my Good Mother Training Manual, I even took him to Target to pick out some underwear. He picked out Thomas the Train. Yippee. (Actually, it was better than some.) He also got to pick out his own candy reward. He originally picked out Snickers or something like that but I gently suggested M&Ms might be a better choice. (One for you...one for me. One for you...one, two for me!) In all seriousness, the M&Ms were another book suggestion because they are small and easy to give as frequent rewards. Versus say, a whole mini Snickers every time. I mean, I love Snickers and all but something didn't seem right about potentially feeding him multiple little candy bars in one day.

So, Saturday morning we all woke up bright and early with positive attitudes - ready to tackle OPTBC with zest! On went the underwear and away went the diapers. (Okay, well they were actually just in the closet, but whatever. You get the point.) By approximately 10 a.m. we had dealt with three "accidents." Luckily, all on the hardwood floor - which may have had something to do with the fact that he was banned from sitting on the couch or really going anywhere that didn't have a hard, easy to clean surface. Just kidding. Sort of. Okay, we did make him sit on a towel on the couch. Still, attitudes were positive. After all, accidents were all part of the OPTBC agenda. Then came another. And another. And another. And...somewhere between 2 and 3 p.m. and the sixth or seventh accident - Patty Positive left for the beach and Nancy Negative showed up. It was somewhere around this general time frame that, after cleaning up yet another accident and taking a few deep breaths, I recall that I got down on the floor with him, took him gently, yet firmly by the arms, looked him in the eye and said, "Ian, do you want to go on the potty?" He said yes. "Then you need to tell us and get to the potty before you go. We can't do this for you. You have the power to decide if you want to go potty on the potty or continue having accidents. So, just let us know when you want to start going on the potty." Or something profound like that.

Not all that long after that we were downstairs and I heard, "Mommy, I have to go pee peeeee!!!" We all jumped up and ran to the bathroom like our lives were at stake. He sat down. And he went! There was jumping. There was cheering. There was hugging. And most importantly, there were M&Ms. For all of us! Now, I can't recall the exact sequence of events at this point - but from the hours of approximately 4 or 5 p.m. and 8 p.m., and into Sunday - suddenly Ian was declaring his need to use the toilet about every five minutes. And a few times he went. But more often, he'd eek something out and declare that he was deserving of an M&M. We'd no sooner have him put back together, hands washed, stool put back, sit back down and the process would start all over again. Hmmm....now wait a minute here. It didn't take us long to figure out that we were being played like a fiddle. Barely one challenge conquered before another one began. Sigh. Later on Sunday - when we couldn't take being tied to the house anymore (minus one quick and frantic trip to Fred Meyer earlier that day) - we ventured over to the neighbors' house to check out their new margarita machine. Correction. One of us checked it out while the other one "enjoyed" a strawberry icee with the three, four and five year olds. (Are we having fun yet?) Our neighbor said, "Are you using the M&Ms as reward for going?" "Um, yeah." "Oh, we made that mistake too." "You have to reward them for staying clean and dry all day." "Oh, that makes much better sense!" I guess I missed that page of the manual. So after we got back home we informed Ian that there had been a slight change in the reward plan, which he seemed okay with.

By Monday morning, things were going downright well. The every five minutes thing had subsided and he hadn't had an accident since Saturday afternoon. Things were going so well that we even ventured out on some errands. On Wednesday morning, I happily delivered him to school where he proudly announced to his teacher that he was wearing underwear. Which reminds me that my child - who normally will not say a peep to strangers who try to be friendly with him - also out of the blue announced to the checkout cashier at the grocery store the day before that he was wearing underwear. Luckily she must have had kids or something because she seemed very excited for him.

Our accident-free streak continued, minus one or two nighttime issues that weren't Ian's fault, for several days until just this Tuesday. Just prior to his "rest time" we had a little behavior challenge where I let him get the better of me (bad me) and immediately after that he had a clearly on-purpose accident in his underwear (I won't go into the gory details). But then immediately ran to sit on the potty to finish up, so I guess he wasn't completely committed to it. But that seemed to be an isolated incident. So far, at least.

However, I won't say that the process has been challenge-free. Remember last time when I said that he complied with staying in his room despite his newfound freedom out of the crib? Um yeah, well we regressed on that front slightly. In an effort to help him advance to being completely trained (including at night) we told him that if he was ever in his room and felt like he needed to go - that he should feel free to come out and go to the bathroom, ask for help if he needed it and then go back to his room. I'm pretty sure I saw a little sparkle in his eye and a devilish grin on his face when we revealed this new detail to him. Because not long after he was suddenly needing to go potty an awful lot during rest time - and more surprisingly since he's always been a champ about going to bed at night - after bedtime. One night last Thursday or so he appeared in the living room half naked long after we thought he was asleep declaring he had gone potty! Upstairs we went to get cleaned up and ushered him back to bed, only for it to happen two more times before the hour was up. And it was during So You Think You Can Dance for crying out loud. The nerve!

Once again faced with a new challenge and really not sure what to do in order to continue to encourage him to go while sending the message that games are not acceptable - we finally went with our gut and imposed a consequence for every time he got up to go and didn't actually produce. It sort of worked because things slowed down right after that, but challenges remain. Last night I was out and Jeff found him wandering around upstairs after bedtime - not even under the pretense of needing to sit on the potty. Just out of bed wandering. You know, just because he can. And, we are having issues in the morning as well. Last Saturday he showed up by our bedside just before 6 a.m., which should just flat out be against the law. This, of course, was really the inevitable part of ditching the cage-like sleeping arrangements. And people wonder why we held out as long as possible...

Which brings me back around to the meaning of the title of this entry. For some strange reason, I was under the impression that potty training is, in part, such a huge milestone because no more diapers would equal much less work for mom and dad. But since we embarked on this adventure I have sadly learned that this is not the case. So far, at least. In fact, I could make several arguments to the contrary: that Ian being potty trained is actually MORE work now. First of all, he is far from being self sufficient now. We have finally started to put our foot down (again, and impose a consequence) for his tendency - and clear enjoyment - for pulling everything off, going potty - and then just running out of the bathroom to declare Mission Accomplished! with no clothes on. At which point we have to get him back to the bathroom, help with any necessary clean up, help him get his underwear right side out again, make sure he gets them on by himself without dawdling for 20 minutes, and make sure he washes his hands without throwing water all over the bathroom (or with the case downstairs, he can't even reach the sink by himself, even on a stool). Then there's the whole sleep disturbance (for all of us) and wandering out of his room issue. And I haven't even touched on the whole new level of anxiety associated with outings, especially ones where we know there will not be a clean restroom or sometimes, any restroom nearby.

Still, apparently I hear that this whole learning to use the potty is a good thing in the long run, so I guess we'll stick with it. And I have to say that I probably had more anxiety over how to tackle this whole potty training thing possibly more than any other part of parenting so far. While much of it has been about just going with our gut instinct, I must admit that there was many a day when I just felt lost on how exactly to go about training, despite reading about different techniques. I also had more than one person tell me that I needed to be prepared that OPTBC may not be successful because even though we were ready, he may not be ready. But we are very proud of him and looking back, I have to say that once we all pushed off the deep end and made a focused effort on mastering the core skills, if you will, it was a relatively quick and painless process. Hopefully I will not be eating those words any time soon.

Until I write again.

NOTICE: To protect the innocent, no pictures are provided with this entry.