Sunday, January 18, 2009

I might be dying...again

Can I just complain about something for a minute or two? Wait, of course I can - it's my blog!

So, one morning early last spring I was standing at the bottom of the stairs urging Ian to hurry up and come down so we could get in the car and head off to work/daycare when suddenly I started getting this very uncomfortable feeling up and down my left arm and into my hand. It was like someone was squeezing my arm very tightly and wouldn't let go. I literally tried to shake it off but couldn't get rid of it no matter what I did. But, off we went with our day and by mid-morning at work - not only was this weird feeling still there but it was getting increasingly uncomfortable.

I started getting nervous. Left arm pain, radiating down the arm, into the hand, some tingling, felt very cold...what does that mean? What does that mean? At that point I did what any modern, rational person would do: I jumped on Google and start trying to self diagnose. Now, at this point I must say that I did go into a bit of a panic because the only thing I knew about left arm pain is that it can be associated with having a heart attack. Which, normally I would have laughed off given my age and overall state of health - except that I do happen to have just a slight - or okay, more than slight - family history of fatal heart issues at a young age. After spending some time researching symptoms and having coworkers suggest that maybe I should call a doctor - I called Jeff to report that it was entirely possible I could be dying right there on the phone. I don't think this made him feel super comfortable, especially given that at the time, he happened to be on his way to the airport for a business trip. I recall him saying, "Well, do you think I shouldn't go?" But I told him to go ahead - that if I was really dying it would just have to wait until he got back.

That afternoon while still juggling work, Google searches and contemplating whether or not I should call my doctor - I finally decided to take action. I marched into my friend Zach's office and asked if we could call his Dad, who happens to be a doctor in town. I described my symptoms over the phone at which point he said, "I don't think you're having a heart attack Melinda, but it does sound like you might be having a nerve issue." Wonderful! I clearly wasn't dying, which was obviously great news. So I just slept on something wrong and had a pinched nerve. That made sense. Problem solved. Or not.

Sixish weeks later that stupid annoyance was still there...except it had gotten even worse. What started in the arm and hand was now clearly originating from points in my upper back area - under the left shoulder blade, just to be specific here. It was from there that I had an almost constant shooting pain down my arm, also with the numbness and tingling. The only relief seemed to be when I would lay down in bed at night. As soon as morning hit, it would return and oh boy, within mere minutes of sitting down at my desk at work, there was some serious discomfort going on. (Not to spoil the whole point of this story or anything...but much like I'm feeling right this very second!) Early evenings at home would usually involve me laying on the couch moaning and groaning with an ice pack affixed to my back. One day I said, "Gosh, I'm really tired of this - maybe I should give that doctor a call!"

Of course by that point I already knew what the problem was. Which is one of the reasons why I really didn't want to go to the doctor. I was pretty sure that I had a pinched nerve that was resulting from a herniated disc in my spine. According to several credible online sources, the first step in treatment is a round of physical therapy - which apparently usually does the trick in relieving the pain. If not, then other steps may need to occur with surgery as a last resort option. HOWEVER, it clearly stated in several places that your doctor may want to do an MRI as part of the initial diagnosis. Yeah, you know, those machines that are a claustrophobic's worst nightmare? Oh, and have I ever mentioned that I am slightly claustrophobic? I was hyperventilating at the mere thought of being shoved into one of those death traps just so they could tell me I had a herniated disc - which, HELLO - I already knew!!! (And um, so why do people still need to go to medical school when we have Google?) Still, it had become painfully (pun intended) clear that I needed to take some steps toward relief of this little issue. So, I made an appointment.

A couple of weeks later I walked into my doctor's office, still in pain with my newly printed t-shirt that read, "MRIs Are Against My Religion". I wanted to send her a subtle message. Well, I guess it worked because after we talked she said, "It sounds like we should get you in some physical therapy." Shocker!!!! But instead of pondering whether or not I should have been a doctor, I was just relieved that there was no mention of those three little letters.

Anyhooskie, several physical therapy appointments, many prescribed exercises and one job resignation later - my pain had magically disappeared and by the end of June, I was feeling like myself again. What a huge relief. Until...December. Actually, I happen to know that it was around December 11 because our new niece Ellie was born that day and I specifically recall that for some reason I had been feeling particularly tense for a few days that week (sympathetic baby angst??). And, because I hold all my tension in my upper back/neck area, I remember it felt like a rock. Then approximately one week later on a Saturday, it returned. At first it was just one slight shooting pain down the arm. Then another. Then another.

Soon, it was clear. It's baaaaack! With a vengeance, I might add. This time bedtime doesn't even offer a hint of relief. In fact, if I even threaten to flip on my stomach, Whoa Nellie! I should also mention that dealing with constant pain and weakness in the upper left side of my body is also quite fun with a 37 lb. three-year-old who needs to be picked up for various reasons every now and then. So these days I walk around most of the time half hunched over, usually shaking my left arm and hand around in an attempt to get even a second of relief. Does this look slightly strange? Absolutely. But the good news is that this time it only took me about a month before I decided to call the doctor. My appointment is this Friday. Time to dig out the t-shirt again.

Until I write again.

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